Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan

If you've ever watched the TV show "House" before, then you'll have an idea of what this book will be like. We meet a young, thriving Susannah at the age of 24.  Susannah starts experiencing some mild medical issues when she thinks she has a case of bed bugs in her apartment.  Her health quickly declines with terrifying problems.  What starts as flu like symptoms turns into seizures, paranoia, and even hallucinations.

Doctors run a multitude of tests on her.  They all come back with clean results and no diagnosis.  With no concrete evidence to go off of, the initial guesses from doctors range from bipolar disorder to mono.  One clueless doctor even tells her that she must be suffering from alcohol withdrawal and just needs to lay off her partying weekends.  Her seizures continue to progress with no signs of stopping, so she is checked into NYU's epilepsy ward.

Susannah's boyfriend, Stephen, is ever-present during her entire hospital stay.  Remarkably, they had only been dating for 6 months prior to her hospitalization.  Susannah's estranged parents are also very involved.  Since they still had issues with one another, they communicated all of the day's medical updates through a journal to one another.  Susannah also introduces the reader to nurses and doctors who are assigned to her case.

Before Susannah's disaster, she was a a journalist with the New York Post.  Putting her journalistic skills to use, she recreates her "month of madness" because she couldn't remember all of it herself.  She interviewed, researched, and pieced together information from her family, boyfriend, hospital staff, doctors, etc and was able to amazingly cover all of the time that she couldn't remember.  She was able to weave it together seamlessly.  The amount of effort she put into reconstructing her narrative is what impressed me the most.  She is able to give you enough insight to the medical information so you can understand the whole picture without getting lost in the jargon.

I don't want to give any spoilers to this book by explaining her final diagnosis.  You'll have to read it to find out yourself!  It is really difficult to write much more without giving too much information away!

The book is just under 300 pages, and it took me 3 sittings to finish the book.  I didn't even notice the time that flew by when I would sit down and read it.  After reading "Atlas Shrugged," I wanted a book that was really gripping and easy to read.  The internet helped me on my quest to find something exciting.  I found this book on quite a few different "must read" lists online.  It currently has a 3.99 out of 5 star rating on the website Goodreads.  Susannah posted on her Instagram (linked here) that they were planning on making a movie out of the book with Chloe Grace Moretz to star in the film.  I can imagine that this would make a great movie.  I would highly recommend this book if medical mysteries interest you!  Happy reading everyone!

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

This book will peak your interest if you like one of the following: anything to do with trains, the difficulties of running your own business, strong female main characters, political unrest to due an overly strict government, or you just like suffering through 1,000+ page books for no apparent reason.  About 2/3rds of the way through the book, I realized that no one was actually going to read this book based on my review, and I almost gave up on it.  I think I finished it just to say I did it and less out of enjoyment for the book itself.  As a matter of fact, I struggled through a lot of this book.  I told my mom that the author must have suffered from writer's flood versus writer's block.  You could have cut out 600 pages of the book and it still would have made sense.  I'll still give you a brief overview of the story just in case in interests some poor soul out there who wants to read it.

Dagny Taggart, is the Vice President of Taggart Transcontinental.  This is a family run railroad business.  Taggart Transcontinental starts to have difficulty as more and more regulations are being implemented by the government.  The political figures make these regulations with intentions to hurt successful companies while saying they are trying to level the playing field for all businesses.  In an effort to save her railway, Dagny works with Hank Reardon, of Reardon Metals, to create a new, cost effective railroad with a new metal alloy Reardon created.  As Dagny and Hank continue to work together, the government starts to crumble the entire industrial backbone of the country.  Many of Dagny's supporters and friends, who are also business owners, are disappearing into thin air to save themselves.  Dagny is on a mission to find out why her friends are disappearing, as she knows she will most likely be approached at some point about whatever it is that makes them leave.  Will she be able to save Taggart Transcontinental?

It is a very well written book.  Just too long winded for the every day causal reader.  I had to put post-it tabs in my book to make sure I was staying on task and meeting my quotas for the week.  In Section Three of the book, the author changes course entirely - it is where you learn about all of Dagny's disappearing friends - it suddenly becomes exciting again, but I felt like the excitement was short lived.  And I thought the resolution to the book was so-so.

In closing, if you are a die-hard lover of books, and you are looking for a ridiculous challenge... try reading the Game of Thrones book series!  Just kidding.  But really...  You may love "Atlas Shrugged", you may hate it, you may fizzle in and out of it like I did, but at least you can appreciate the time and effort Ayn Rand took to write this monster of a novel.

I have to address something quickly before diving into the review.  A lovely coworker of mine featured my blog in the 12th floor newsletter!  So thank you to any new readers who may have started following along.  She mentioned that my next post may be a how-to knitting book, so I'm sorry if anyone was looking forward to that.  In reality, I know the majority of my "audience" is probably random 20-some year old friends of mine who notice my link on Facebook, so I'm thinking you all aren't too devastated that I strayed from a knitting book.  Hope you enjoy this lovely book below....

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

After reading this book, I thought this review would be really easy for me to write.  The writing style and the philosophy behind the book pull at your heartstrings enough to make you want to talk about how amazing the book is.  But this review in particular has taken me a few weeks to actually sit down and write.

The author, Paul, is coming to the fruition of his education as a neurosurgeon.  Countless hours have been spent working towards his goal of being a doctor.  When he finally sees the end in sight, he is diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer.  Paul Kalanithi passed away March 2015 while working on this book.  It was published posthumously January 2016.  Reading this short summary while standing in Barnes and Nobles was enough to peak my interest, but I had no idea how deeply Paul's writing would connect with me on a personal level.

Paul opens the book discussing his diagnosis with cancer.  I was pretty surprised he decided to start the book with that.  Especially since there was a lot of the book left to read, and I know from personal experience that cancer does not give you that much time.  I was a little afraid he would discuss the ugly side of cancer too much.  The sick, the death, the pain.  Luckily he did not take that turn.  He delves back into his past to talk about his early education in English, life with his wife, and changing his path to medicine.  He takes you through the struggle of medical school and the grueling hours.  Paul talks about his constant struggle with wanting to treat people as people instead of a diagnosis on a piece of paper.  And then the tables are flipped on him when he is diagnosed.  He suddenly becomes the patient and the statistic.  He goes from working full time, 100 miles per hour, and in control of his life, to an abrupt halt.  His doctor urges him to go after his passion because there is no guarantee in a successful recovery.  He has to decide if that is continuing in the medical field or following his first passion and writing a book.  Obviously, we are reading the product of his choice.

This book is about looking mortality in the face and doing so with a thirst for knowledge.  The beauty of the book is that you get to view it from the perspective of both the doctor and the patient.  It is hard to give this book the justice it deserves.  For that reason, I am going to finish the review by quoting a paragraph from the epilogue written by his wife, Lucy.  

This book carries the urgency of racing against time, of having importing things to say.  Paul confronted death -- examined it, wrestled with it, accepted it -- as a physician and a patient.  He wanted to help people understand death and face their mortality.  Dying in one's fourth decade is unusual now, but dying is not.  "The thing about lung cancer is that it's not exotic," Paul wrote in an email to his best friend, Robin.  "It's just tragic enough and just imaginable enough.  [The reader] can get into these shoes, walk a bit, and say, 'So that's what it looks like from here ... sooner or later I'll be back here in my own shoes.' That's what I'm aiming for, I think.  Not the sensationalism of dying, and not the exhortation to gather rosebuds, but: Here's what lies up ahead on the road."  Of course he did more than just describe the terrain.  He traversed it bravely.

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

The Girl on the Train is a psychological thriller.  The book hops back and forth between three perspectives-- the alcoholic and lonely Rachel; the over-protective mother and jealous wife Anna; and the beautiful and repetitively unfaithful Megan.

Rachel is truly the main character.  She is a middle aged woman who is struggling.  She is an alcoholic who suffers regular black outs.  You also learn about her ex-husband, Tom, who cheated on her.  Rachel regularly rides the train in and out of London to hide her unemployment from her roommate.  During her train ride, Rachel points out two houses to the reader.  One of the houses she passes is her old house.  Her ex-husband and his new wife, Anna, now live there.  Rachel tries to avoid looking at Tom and Anna's house.  Instead, she focuses her attention down the street to a different house.  We later come to realize that Megan and her husband Scott live in this second house.  Rachel fantasizes about Megan's picture-perfect life, and she envies the blissful marriage she creates for them.  During one train ride, Rachel glances at Megan's house to see her kissing someone other than her husband.  Rachel is shocked.  Although she has never actually met Megan, Rachel cannot fathom her cheating on her husband.  Rachel drinks heavily that night.  The following morning, Rachel wakes up with little to no memory of the previous night, but finds herself covered in bruises and blood on her hands.  She later hears on the news that Megan has gone missing.  Rachel feels drawn to the case, and she is convinced that what she witnessed is pertinent information.  She becomes involved with the police, contacts Megan's husband, and slowly starts to piece together her black-out from the night Megan went missing.

This book blew up pretty quickly.  The movie adaptation came out October 2016.  I always recommend reading the book before watching the movie if possible.  I heard it was similar to Gone Girl.  I hated Gone Girl (the book), so I was a little nervous to pick this up.  Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised.  For the most part, I thought it was a pretty easy read.  You get caught up in the drama of the characters and next thing you know an hour has passed.  Just when you think you know the main suspect, they introduce new evidence or a twist to make you change your mind.  It can get a little confusing bouncing between different character's past and present story lines, but you can still follow without it needing to be extremely specific.  My only other complaint is the glorification of cheating on your spouse throughout the book.  Unfaithful relationships become crucial to the plot line.  I can't really say much more without ruining the story, but it was a little disappointing to continually see cheating as a core theme of the book.

I was up until 1:30am trying to fly through the last hundred pages of the book.  There was no way to go to sleep without knowing the resolution when you can see the end in sight!  Afterwards, I had to turn the TV on and make sure the front door was locked.  I have to admit, I'm very easily spooked, and reading thrillers at night probably isn't the best for me.  Even now I'm peeking over my computer screen to make sure no one is coming up the stairs with a butcher knife waiting for their moment to strike.  As much as I love the suspense and page turning that thrillers provide, my heart just can't handle it.  Maybe I can convince Derrick to watch the movie with me this weekend mid-day with the lights on and sun shining.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

I think your opinion of this book is greatly determined by the age at which you read it.  If you are an angsty, hate-the-world teenager, then you will probably love this book.  If you do not happen to currently fall into that age bracket or have similar feelings of that age bracket, then I'm not sure if you will enjoy the book as much.  I'll start off this review by saying that I do not fall into the grumpy, whiny, teen category.  I was pretty disappointment with the mindset and outlook of the main character throughout the plot of the book.  Let me explain...

The main character, Holden Caulfield, is a teenager who attends a famous school named Pencey Prep in Pennsylvania.  You quickly come to find that Holden is being kicked out of Pencey for failing the majority of his classes and not applying himself.  This is not the first school he has been kicked out of.  His attitude and humor are dark, twisted, and deprecating.  To be completely honest, he sounds like a whiny brat to me.  Throughout his incessant whining, you learn some history about Holden's life, and it gives you some insight on why he behaves the way he does.  

For one, he is not the smoothest with the ladies.  He talks about sex and wanting to lose his virginity throughout the book; however, he realizes that he wants more than just casual sex, and he never follows through with any attempts he initiates.  He also has an affinity for saying the word "phony" as an adjective to describe anything or anyone he encounters.  Anytime someone disagrees with him or is being (in his mind) inauthentic, he sees them as a phony person.  In reality, he is just too close-minded to realize that he may be wrong about an idea or opinion he has.  A great example of that would be schooling.  He has been kicked out of a few schools at this point.  He is about it be kicked out of another, yet anyone who tries to talk to him about schooling is usually called a phony at some point in the conversation.  On a more serious note, you find out that Holden's younger brother, Allie, passed away from leukemia about three years before the book takes place.  With all of the drama and sullenness, you can't help but feel compassionate for Holden when you find out about his brother.  It doesn't forgive all of his bad behavior, but it certainly helps to explain it.

In short, The Cather in the Rye covers a lot of themes linked to the fear of growing up.  Holden so desperately wants to stay young, innocent, and care-free, but realizes that he can't.  He isn't ready to fully come to terms with the responsibility of adulthood just yet, but he knows that the time is coming.  He is stuck between childhood and adulthood.  At the end of the book, Holden is reconnected with his little sister Phoebe.  Time with Phoebe brings back some of the sweetness in his life, and you see his attitude shift for the better.  This is the only time we truly see a happy, content Holden.

I wasn't a huge fan of the book.  To be honest, I'm not always impressed with the "classics" when it comes to books.  I appreciate the fact that the author could be so candid and honest in Holden's perspective, but it was just a little too honest for me.  I can't imagine living my life being so incredibly critical of everyone and everything.  How miserable would that be!  Needless to say, I'm grateful to check this one off of my to-read list, and it is on to the next one!

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

This book came to me as a happy accident.  Derrick -- who is my husband for anyone who doesn't know -- and I were wandering through Target looking for last minute Christmas gifts, when I saw the bright, happy, yellow cover.  "Am I really a badass?" I whispered to myself as I sat in the aisle staring at the book.  I had heard a recommendation for the book from MarissaLace on Youtube, but never actually put it on my mental to-read list.  Sometimes the Universe will try and send you messages or nudge you, and you never pick up on them, but I think the the Universe got through to me with this book.  Luckily I was feeling like enough of a badass that day, and it ended up in my cart.  This is the perfect first book for this blog.

If you have ever questioned buying a self-help book, buying a coach, or trying to start a change in your life, please read this book first.  It is an easy read that helps break down the steps, process, and mental fortitude required for a lifestyle change.  More than just a lifestyle change really.  This isn't just about trying to eat vegetables or pay off your debt.  No, this book is about following your most coveted dreams and goals.  It has all of the common sense elements that your friends or family would tell you... things like setting goals for yourself, opening yourself up to change, looking for the positive in situations... but it gives you practical advice and actual steps on how to make it happen in an easy, conquerable way.  Most importantly, in my opinion, she helps you determine if this goal or change of yours is really something you plan to invest yourself in!  A lot of people have the same type of classic goals like losing weight, quit smoking, or leaving their crappy job.  By the end of the book, you can determine if you actually have the capacity and willpower to make your goals a reality!  I went into reading the book with a few of my ow personal goals in mind because I personally learn from example.  I can tell you now, after applying my list of goal ideas to the concepts in this book, that this blog will be a success, but that eating a healthy dinner every night is just not in the cards for me at this time.  If I really think about it though, one of my goals would be to eat chocolate and cheese every day and not gain weight, so I guess that makes sense why investing in eating healthy just doesn't light a fire under my ass the same way.

Now I'm not saying that all of her practices and ideas are easy-peasy, no work involved, problem solving miracles.  You have to put your own work in.  As a matter of fact, after reading the introduction, I grabbed some sticky notes to keep with me while I read.  I noted various chapters for both every day purposes and my own personal trouble areas (like money and fear) so that I can go back to this book throughout the year.  The book expects\practice, dedication, and commitment.  But it doesn't feel overwhelming.  Throughout the book I felt the need to refer it to everyone around me who was willing to listen.  I was constantly pulling it out of my purse to show someone the chapter I just read.  She makes it feel doable.  Like you are really capable of achieving your wildest dreams.  And the beautiful thing is, you are capable!  You Are A Badass will show you how.

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With the new year coming up, it is a great time to sit and think about the goals you want to accomplish this year.  And lets be brave and think on the bigger side of things.  Do you want to buy a house?  Do you want to change your job or start your own business?  Are you tired of causally dating and want to find a steady partner?  ...Or do you to continue through the hum-drum routine of every day life this year with no advancement.  Maybe 20 years from now you'll look back and wonder where time went.  Why waste your time investing your life into something, someone, or somewhere that isn't valuing you?  Take some time to think about something that you've always wanted to do.  If you're serious about it, then you may want to pick up Jen's book.  And remember to love yourself through the journey.

It is that time of the year already!  Well, I may be a few weeks early, but I like to be prepared.  It is New Year's Resolution time.  Last year, my New Year's Resolution (we'll call it my NYR for short) was to have a dance party in my car every day on the way home from work.  Every day I would plug in my music and jam in my car while sitting in traffic.  And you know what?  BEST RESOLUTION EVER.  Truly made the afternoon ride home so much more enjoyable.  I genuinely look forward to traffic now.  So with my great success, I felt obligated to have a wonderful plan for my NYR this year!  What could possibly live up to having a dance party in your car every day?  Naturally... reading and writing book reports every month.  I know, I know, you all are seeing how exciting my life is, right?  For those of you who don't know me, I'm going to let you in on a secret... I'm an eighty three year old lady trapped in a twenty year old's body.  I'll give you a little back story on my love of reading.

I was home-schooled by my mom for kindergarten and first grade.  My mom received degrees in teaching, worked as a teacher, and thought it was only natural to teach me as well.  It was a small rotating class with two other girls my age.  My mom was in charge of math and English.  As most little girls do, we were reading the American Girl book series in my mom's class.  I was a stubborn learner with my mom.  I would know the answer, but I would pretend to not know the answer just to be difficult.  At one point, I refused to read any more.  It was to the point where my mom thought I may have had a learning disability.  Fast forward.  My mom was reading the Addy book out loud to our class.  She started crying when Addy is reunited with her brother Sam.  She was hysterical and couldn't even weep through the words on the page.  I ripped the book out of her hand, opened it up, and started reading the book out loud perfectly.  At that point my mom starts crying even harder because she realized I could actually read.  Needless to say, my mom enrolled me in public school the following year, but I have loved reading ever since.

My favorite genre is probably dystopian, magical realism, or sci-fi.  I also like a good self-help book every now and then.  Some of my favorite authors include J.K. Rowling (who doesn't love her), Oscar Wilde, Brene Brown, Dan Brown, and C.S. Lewis.  The hardest books for me to read are the classic, older lady, romance novels.  They are just too unrealistic for me.  I also like books about mythology, health and wellness, and anything that is supposed to be made into a movie later in the year.  I will always try to read the book before watching the movie.  One of the few exceptions is the series I'm currently reading.  It is impossible to speed read the Game of Thrones books while binge watching the tv shows.  I tried!

I want to have a pretty honest and broad review of a variety of books on this blog.  I plan on rotating back and forth between non-fiction and fiction.  I am just now starting to work on my list of books for the first few months.  Please comment if you have any suggestions or want to offer your feedback.  I would love to have the open discussion.  I want to have a minimum of one review a month, but I'm open to the idea of posting more than one if I am able!  We will see how the first few months go first.

Here's to 2017!  The year of book reviews!