Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

This book has gained a lot of speed and recognition since it's publication at the beginning of this year.  It has been on everyone's reading list from Oprah, to Barack Obama, to Bill Gates.  Amazon even selected "Educated" as their best book of the year.  With all the hype surrounding the book, I knew I had to get my hands on it.  My library had two copies going around and even still the wait was estimated at 66 weeks.  So I went on a hunt for this highly sought after book to see if it was all it was cracked up to be.

Educated's writing style is able to span two genres to help draw in the readers.  Westover is able to write an almost dystopian-like opening dealing with poverty, doomsday prepping, and a disconnect from the rest of modern day society.  Coincidentally, it is also a generic coming of age story about a young girl finding her identity, spreading her wings, and leaving the nest to go to college.  Westover grows up in a heavily sheltered Mormon household living off the grid.  She has never been to school or to the doctor.  We get to read anecdotes varying from her sibling's leg catching on fire to exploits in pursuing her education.

I thought the first half of the book was fabulous.  I loved reading the stories about her family, working in the junkyard with her brothers and dad, and all of the horror medical stories.  I think there may have been other readers who experienced more of a shock factor reading the details of her upbringing.  I wasn't necessarily shocked by those things, but I did think they were interesting to read.  The second half, when she goes to school, started to lose me a little.  Small spoiler ahead **  She would talk about how she was struggling in class and going to fail any second, and then miraculously she would get an academic scholarship and end up passing with flying colors. **  And that was the reoccurring theme of her academic years.  So, the second half was so-so for me.  I'm not lessening her achievements at all!  Just saying that I wasn't into that part of the book as much.  Nevertheless, she's a captivating storyteller.  It's a world that many of us have no knowledge of, and we follow her journey with intrigue.

I'm glad I ended the year out on a strong note!  I'm hoping that if you have not yet read this book, that it is on your to-read list soon!  Happy New Year to everyone, and best wishes on your 2019 reading goals!!


Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Positives: Loved the first half of the book.
Negatives: Her schooling years weren't as believable.  She would flip flop between being a bad student and excelling too quickly for me.

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

Ten little Indian boys went out to dine;
One choked his little self and then there were nine.
Nine little Indian boys sat up very late;
One overslept himself and then there were eight.
Eight little Indian boys travelling to Devon;
One said he'd stay there and then there were seven.
Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks;
One chopped himself in halves and then there were six.
Six little Indian boys playing with a hive;
A bumblebee stung one and then there were five.
Five little Indian boys going in for law;
One got in Chancery and then there were four.
Four little Indian boys going out to sea;
A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.
Three little Indian boys walking in the zoo;
A big bear hugged one and then there were two.
Two little Indian boys sitting in the sun;
One got frizzled up and then there was one.
One little Indian boy left all alone;
He went out and hanged himself and then there were none.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I scare easily.  I even have to hide my face during scary movie trailers.  So it should be no big surprise that I have not read a lot of thrillers or mystery books.  Lord knows I would never be able to sleep after reading them!  This month I read my first Agatha Christie book!  I'm pretty surprised I had never read her works before, seeing as she is one of the best-selling novelists of all-time.  I think I was just too timid to pick anything up in fear of being afraid.  But if I'm going to read a mystery, I might as well read one of the best!  

When researching Christie's legacy, I wanted to read a book that would really showcase her skills.  By far, the most popular book mentioned in every list, blog post, and article is "And Then There Were None."  It is her best-selling novel, with more than 100 million copies sold.  It is also the world's best-selling mystery novel.  One review said it was similar to the board game Clue.  Another review compared it to "From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler", which was a book that sparked my love for reading in middle school.  Those two reviews were enough to seal the deal for me.

The story opens on eight people being invited to Indian Island for a variety of reasons.  They are met there by the two housekeepers who say that the hosts, Mr. and Mrs. U.N. Owen, have not yet arrived.  The guests find this odd but start to introduce themselves and enjoy dinner together.  After dinner, a gramaphone record is played.  The record accuses all ten visitors of murder, and it details each crime on the recording.  While the guests try to understand who their host is and what is happening, one of them ingests a poisonous drink and dies.  Will they find out who U.N. Owen is?  Or will he slowly kill them one at a time until none are left?

While the US editions were titled "And Then There Were None", there is a not so nice history about the original UK publications.  The original title was "Ten Little Niggers" based on the nursery rhyme that hangs in each guest's room.  The island they meet on also has the same name.  The rhyme and island were later changed to Ten Little Indians/Indian Island or Ten Little Soldiers/Solider Island in other editions.  Other cultures still have the original title in their translations.  However, the estate of Agatha Christie now only offers the novel under the English title.  So going forward, any new foreign language editions would be translated from this titled edition.

Now I have to be honest, I wasn't blown away by the book.  Was I surprised by the ending?  Yes.  I had ideas about who the killer may have been, but I definitely did not expect the resolution Agatha gave us.  But it wasn't a knock me out of my seat and jaw-dropping ending.  If anything, I see the plot more as an outline for hundreds of stories.  Agatha Christie laid a story framework that can be adapted and reused countless times.  I think that's why this book is the best-seller it is.  It is well written, captivating, has the big twist at the end like you want it to have -- yet it is still simple and has remained popular over time.  At the end of the day, I guess I should be grateful that it didn't scare me too badly!

Rating: 3 out of 5
Positives: Pretty captivating to read.  I would sit down and read 50-100 pages each time.  And I'm glad it wasn't too, too scary for me!
Negatives: I thought the male characters lacked diversity.  I kept confusing them!

Surprise Me by Sophie Kinsella

I decided to try reading a book outside of my usual genre this month and went for a contemporary romance.  Sophie Kinsella (aka Madeleine Wickham) is many reader's go-to author for chick lit, light hearted, charismatic reads.  Some of her other books are titled, "Girls Night In", "My Not So Perfect Life", and "Confessions of a Shopaholic."  Just the titles alone make me think of pink, champagne, bubbles, and facemasks.  I don't know much about the other books outside of their titles, but Surprise Me seems like it may have a little more depth and seriousness to it than some of Sophie's other works. 

Sylvie and Dan, a happily married couple, have been together for ten years now.  They have twin girls, fulfilling jobs, and can finish each other's sentences.  A trip to the doctors tells them fabulous news!  They will have another 68 years of marriage together.  As the reality of that statement sets in, they start to panic.  Will their marriage be able to last another 68 years or will the routine of life grow tiresome?  They decide that they need to spice up their marriage in order to keep things fresh, new, and exciting.  But not all of the surprises go to plan, and anxiety sets in about their future together. 

The first half of the book was mostly charming and humorous.  Some of the initial story building at the very beginning seemed to drag for me, but it was worth it to continue reading.  The section of the book that shows the couple's surprises back and forth to each other was the best part of the book.  Laugh out loud funny and so relatable.  As the story progresses into the second half of the book, it does take a more serious turn.  At the end there is a totally unexpected element that was a lot darker than the rest of the book.  I was not expecting the ending at all, but I love how it rounded out the story and finished things off nicely. 

After reading a few other reviews on the book, I found most people were surprised to see, and didn't like the more anxiety ridden main character of Sophie, in comparison to Kinsella's usual protagonist.  Most faithful Kinsella readers point people to her Shopaholic Series if you're looking to explore her works for the first time.  As I had no prior knowledge of her works, I didn't see any problem with the book at all.  I really don't know if I could stomach something like the Shopaholic series, so this one was probably better for me personally.  If you're used to light and fluffy books, then you may be better of starting with the Shopaholic Series if you haven't read it already.

Rating: 4 out of 5
Positives: Pretty light and fluffy with some good laughs while still having some substance to keep you interested and engaged.
Negatives: Dragged a bit in the beginning.  I almost wish the sections where they surprised each other would have continued instead of taking the more serious turn, but I still enjoyed the book as a whole.

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

A Monster Calls follows the story of a thirteen year old boy, named Conor, who is learning to live with his mother's cancer diagnosis and her declining health.  With his mother's treatments also come nightmares for Conor.  Conor begins to be visited by a monster at 12:07 as he wakes from his nightmares.  The monster is formed out of a yew tree he can see from his bedroom window.  The yew tree monster tells Conor that he will tell him three true stories.  After the monster tells his three stories, Conor must tell a true story of his own.  If the monster determines that Conor's story is untrue, the monster will eat Conor.  The only problem is that Conor's story and his truth are not going to be easy to talk about.

The original creator, Siobhan Dowd, was terminally ill with cancer herself when she started working on this story.  She died before she could finish writing it.  Patrick Ness then took over and expanded the idea into the work it is today.  Ness also worked with a beautiful illustrator, Jim Kay, to really bring life to Siobhan's ideas.  The book has now been adapted to a film starring Lewis MacDougall, Felicity Jones, Liam Neeson, and Sigourney Weaver.  They also adapted it into a stage production in 2018, which looks phenomenal from the trailer and previews available online.

As soon as the story opens, you realize this is not going to be an easy, light-hearted read. Conor's mother is very sick, and the author isn't shy in showing the realities of cancer in a household.  For anyone who is sensitive to these topics or has experience with sick parents, just be aware that they don't sugarcoat the experience.  Make sure you have your tissues ready.  As someone who lost a parent to cancer at 17, I can so relate and empathize with Conor.  Especially his anger.  The ending of the book was so cathartic and something I really needed to read.  It really spoke to me on a personal level and helped me work through some of my own struggles surrounding my father's passing.  I don't cry often while reading, but I was crying through the ending of this book.  The ending was exactly what it needed to be.


Rating: 4.5 out of 5
* Positives: Not too long - 226 pages; Interesting concept and idea; Spot on in terms of reality of the story line (at least for me)

* Negatives: A part of me wonders if you have to have experienced grief like this to "get it."  I saw a few different reviews from people who were annoyed or unfazed by the story.  I'm thinking they are just in the wrong demographic (or soulless people who have no heart) but if someone has no concept of grief, then they may not understand where Conor is coming from.

This Is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession by Daniel J. Levitin

I was having a conversation with a co-worker of mine about our most recent reads, and I mentioned that this was my newest book.  When I started to explain the concept behind Dr. Levitin's book, she told me that the books I read are too smart.  Well Laura, buckle up for this one!  Reading "This Is Your Brain on Music" felt like I was reading a textbook most of the time.  

I had been in a reading slump for a few weeks.  Nothing was grabbing my attention, and I had started and stopped multiple books.  I knew I was going to be in trouble if I couldn't find something quickly.  I started looking for topics that I knew I had an interest in.  The front flap of the book pitches a mix of neuroscience, the study of structure or function of the nervous system and brain, and music.  Those two subjects immediately peaked my interest.  I love learning about why we do (or like) the things we do.  And everyone likes music.  When I picked the book up from my library, the librarian gushed about how amazing this book was.  He even told me that he had put in a hold to receive it after me because he wanted to read it again.  I was excited to get started on this book.

The first two chapters immediately made me nervous.  It was like a Music 101 class that I had not signed up for.  It was explaining things like pitch, tempo, melody vs harmony, tritones, and dissonance just to name a few.  Not only would it give a definition of these terms, but it would break it down to explain how the brain interprets them.  To give you an idea of what to expect, Dr. Levitin writes, "pitch is a purely psychological phenomenon related to the frequency of vibrating air molecules."  It felt like the book was getting a bit above my head at some parts, even with a few years of piano lessons during my elementary school years under my belt.  I decided that I would continue reading but cautiously.  It became more enjoyable as it started moving away from music theory and more into the psychology  and neuroscience of music.  I would just have a few moments of "huh, never knew that before" as I continued on but rarely had mind-blowing WOW moments.  By the end of the book, I wasn't sure if I had really developed a deeper appreciation for music or the science behind it.

About a week or so later, I went to a funeral to support a friend's family.  The son sang and played the piano in tribute to his mom.  While listening to his music, I thought about the book I had just read and could pin-point specific moments that the author had referred to throughout the book.  It was helpful to see those theories laid out in front of me after reading about them.  But even in that moment, I don't think that meant I now had a deeper connection to that music because I could understand the scientific and psychological impact the music was creating.  I'm sure everyone in that room felt the emotions and the effect of his music.  If anything, I wasn't able to enjoy it for it's simplicity and be in the moment.  The book had taken me to a place where I was dissecting the music rather than enjoying it.

I think Dr. Levitin is brilliant, and the amount of effort, time, and thought that he put into the book is evident.  I just wouldn't be surprised if people use it as a recommended read on a course syllabus.  It certainly isn't a casual read.  (I'm starting to understand that I don't really read casual books at this point!)  I'd say that people who are aspiring musicians, music producers, or like music history would appreciate this book the most.  Other than that, I don't think run of the mill music listeners need to understand or know how to dissect their music interests.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5
* Positives: The material was informative and a lot was covered.
* Negatives: As much as they tried to write it in layman's terms, it still felt too academic and brainy.

10% Happier :How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works by Dan Harris

For those of you who do not know, I work for PA's Department of Education issuing teacher certifications.  Our peak season is usually from college graduation in May (new graduates who want to become teachers) until the start of school in September (schools trying to get their staff situated) each year.  As May approaches, I start to feel a cloud of anxiety hovering over the office.  Before you have time to realize it, you're already drowning in work.  In preparation for this year's busy season, I thought this book might be the perfect thing to help get me in the right mind set.  I mean, who wouldn't want to be 10% happier?  Especially if I could hone into that right before chaos rains down at work.

Dan Harris, the author, talks about his rise through the ranks as a news anchor from a small town local station in Maine to shows like Good Morning America and Nightline.  Throughout the book he covers the fears he faced like receding hair lines or the subject matter of his stories.  He talks about the competitiveness of the job and the need to stay relevant to the public.  In 2004, Dan has a panic attack on live TV.  Since he is still trying to climb the ladder to bigger and better stories, he doesn't tell his coworkers exactly what happened to him and instead starts a quest to calm his panic attacks.  He used his current assignment, covering faith and religion, to seek out influencers and self-help gurus to interview.  Dan uses his journalism connections to meet with Deepak Chopra, Ekhart Tolle, and Ted Haggard to name a few.  Through those connections he starts to resonate with Buddhism and specifically mindfulness meditation.

Mindfulness meditation is bringing awareness to the present moment versus the older ideas of clearing your mind completely.  Most mindfulness practices guide you to find acceptance, peace, and non-judgement in the present moment, your current circumstances, and any struggles or pain you're currently experiencing.  The initial concept is the same to the stereotypical meditation.  You can sit or lie down, close your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing.  From that point, you have to focus your thoughts on the present moment.  This is the hardest part for most people.  It's pretty easy to think about your grocery list, the 500 things you have to clean in your house, or your screaming kids down the hall.  It is a lot harder to really focus in and continually redirect your mind to this exact moment.  Not the future, not the past, but this exact moment right now.  Some guided practices will have you think about things like the feeling of your breath as it expands your chest or the feeling of your clothing on your skin to help keep you in the present moment.  In moments of chaos or stress, mindfulness meditation can help bring you back to reality.  So many of us focus on our growing to-do list, deadlines, or past failures.  Instead, we can take a moment to remember that in this present moment I'm breathing, I'm capable, and I'm okay.  Then you can start to tackle your to-do lists with a clearer mind-set and less panic.

I know there are other books specific to mindfulness meditation and guided meditation out there.  The only other one I've personally read is "You Are Not Your Pain" by Vidyamala Burch and Danny Penman, which is specific to chronic pain meditation.  It comes with a CD with guided meditation practices.  The book explains the concepts and idea of mindfulness as well as an overview of the guided meditation that will be covered on the CD.  I strongly encourage you to look into the other books and CDs available if you are looking for a more guided practice to mindfulness meditation.  Mindfulness can be a huge game changer when it comes to stress relief, but it is a learned skill.  It takes practice and patience to work it into your every day life.

In regards to Dan Harris's book though, I found it more so an ode to journalism or a memoir rather than a self-help book.  To me, it felt like he wanted to outline his self-help journey.  So while it did explain how mindfulness meditation was the end result that worked for him personally, it isn't necessarily a book that I would recommend for someone who is interested in the basics on meditation.  But as a memoir, you can really see Harris's journalism background strongly at work.  He includes enough of his first-world drama to make you feel sympathetic at times, but doesn't forget to name drop all of his friends to even out your sympathies.  He explains his thought process to try and resolve his rising panic problems, and how he used his journalism ties and connections to his advantage in finding solutions.

While I'm glad I read the book, it was more so a general reminder to me that I need to start back up on my meditation practices this summer.  Dan Harris's book isn't something I can pick up and flip to if I need help focusing or tips on meditation.  Dan's goal is to break the stigma of meditation being a bunch of robed men sitting in a zen garden chanting to a statue.  You can practice meditation to help you fall asleep at night, right after you get home from work to help clear your mind from the day's stress, or even in a moment of gratitude.  It's a beautiful practice to help you remember that you need to live in the present and accept where you are and what you have with no reservations.  If you decide to skip Dan's book, I at least suggest you start practicing mindfulness meditation.


Rating: 2 out of 5
* Positives: Reminded me to start meditating again!  Why did I ever stop?

* Negatives: Name dropping was a bit of a turn-off.  Also expected it to be more so a self-help book and less of a memoir.

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire

Alice In Wonderland, 
The Chronicles of Narnia, 
Peter Pan, 
and Every Heart a Doorway... 

All follow a similar vein in which the characters are transported to another realm full of fairy tales and make believe.  Eventually, they are returned back to their homes wondering if they will ever find their way back to these mystery worlds.  In "Every Heart a Doorway," the children falling through these portals prefer the alternate world to their real-life home.  When they are returned back to reality, they are struggling to find people who understand what they have been through.  An even bigger issue is dealing with the disappointment and frustration of not being able to find their doorways again.  Their time spent on the other side of their doorway has changed them.  They will never stop looking for a way back.  Their confused parents, who mainly think their child is having a mental breakdown or suffering some traumatic incident, decide to send their children to Eleanor West's Home for Wayward Children.  Eleanor tells the parents she can fix the children.  In reality, she herself has experience with her own doorway, and she has since opened a school to bring support and community to other children who are suffering.

The book falls under the category of a novella.  The difference between a novella and a novel is the size.  The typical novel is around 80,000-100,000 words while a novella is closer to 30,000-60,000.  Although it is significantly shorter than the average book, it is full of world building, character development, and even includes a murder mystery.  To be honest, I didn't think the murder mystery was even necessary to the story.  The characters and the concept of these various fantasy lands is fascinating enough to carry the story.  The author gives you glimpses into different character's experiences, and you find yourself wanting to know and understand more as you read.  The murder mystery just creates movement for the plot line.

From the beginning, I loved the resemblance of the wayward children to people who read books.  There are a few individuals out there who stick to strictly non-fiction, but most of us enjoy a good story that transports us to another place.  I could be at Hogwarts with Harry Potter or on a boat at sea with Pi and the tiger.  When you finish a fabulous book, there is a part of you that feels disappointment that you won't be able to experience that world again.  I couldn't imagine a life where I read one book that truly spoke to my soul, finishing the book, and then realizing that I may never be able to read another one every again.  How devastating would that be!

Seanan McGuire currently has two other books out in the Wayward Children series.  The second books is called "Down Among the Sticks and Bones" and the third is "Beneath the Sugar Sky."  The fourth book is already in the works, and it sounds like she may have as many as seven by the end.  I finished book number two shortly after finishing the first.  I'm wait-listed for the third one with my library, but I can't wait to read that one!  I'm hooked.

Rating: 5 out of 5
* Positives: Fascinating story; love the characters and enjoyed their diverse representation
* Negatives: Too short!!  I want more!

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

What a rollercoaster...

I came across Donna Tartt while watching a BookTuber -- a YouTuber who makes book specific videos -- named BooksandLala.  She had read Donna's book “The Secret History” and raved about how fantastic it was.  When I pulled up all of Donna Tartt’s books, I noticed that “The Goldfinch” had just started filming in New York and is due for release in 2019.  I’m a sucker for book to film adaptations.  You know the book must be good if they want to make a movie out of it.  An extra bonus was my timing.  They already have most of the casting in place for the movie.  While reading about a new character, I would pull up the cast list pictures to help visualize what they might look like.

The book opens with Theo Decker, a thirteen-year-old, and his mother preparing to have a conference at his New York prep school due to some behavioral issues.  On the way, they stop at an art museum to see one of his mother’s favorite art pieces, Carel Fabritius’s The Goldfinch.  While casually walking through the art gallery, Theo notices a red-headed girl and a grandfatherly figure with her.  He continually catches her eye but never works up the courage to talk to her.  As they prepare to leave the museum, a bomb explodes knocking him unconscious.  Theo comes to, covered in rubble and dust, and sees the grandfather of the red-head close to him. In the old man’s last moments, he hands Theo the ring he is wearing and seems to signal to The Goldfinch, which has been blown out of it’s frame, and tells him to take the ring to a specific location.  In his altered and concussed state, Theo grabs the painting and the dying man’s ring and exits the museum out a side door with no idea where his mother is.  He then returns to his apartment to wait for his mom, hoping that she will meet him there.  Sadly, she never comes home.  The rest of the book follows Theo as he battles grief, post-traumatic stress disorder, and hiding The Goldfinch painting. 

I decided to read this book on my e-reader versus the physical book.  I seem to be drawn towards larger 400+ page books, if you haven't noticed from the majority of my previous reads.  This one is no exception.  The e-reader had it listed as 515 pages.  It was reserved from my library, so I only had two weeks to finish it before I would need to renew it.  I buckled down and tried to fly through it.  Luckily, the plot was drama-filled enough to keep me entertained and kept me flipping quite easily.  I finished the book with mere hours to spare before a renewal was needed.  Mind you, I would stay up until 2AM many a night, but what book-lover doesn't do that to begin with?

Bathing in my glory of finishing the book, I glanced at a few other reviews to see if my thoughts fell into the general consensus.  I saw a lot of reviews saying that it was "too long" or that it dragged in sections.  I was confused as to how people believed that entire chunks of the book could have been edited out, when I saw that the physical book is actually 800+ pages...... You mean to tell me that I just flew through an 800 page book in 2 weeks?  I was baffled by the page difference between my e-reader and the physical copy.  It made me wonder if it would have been a more difficult read if I knew there were an extra 300 pages to get through.  It can be daunting looking at the size of a book or seeing the never-ending numbers flipping in the corner of the page.  Perhaps some people just lost interest due to the size alone and less their connection with the story line.

In conclusion, this book is a chore to take on.  I wouldn't consider it a casual beach read by any means.  But I think it will make a fabulous movie and is well worth the time spent.  The plot is thick with twists and turns and never lets the characters settle into comfort.  I'm very interested in Donna Tartt's other books now.

Rating: 5 out of 5
* Positives: Exciting plot; author's investment to research and attention to detail when writing about specific subjects (ex: art history, grief, substance abuse); and it is so well written!

* Negatives: Size of the book and the number of snacks consumed while reading this behemoth 

Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

Strange the Dreamer has peaked my interest for a month or two now.  I've seen a lot of people talking about it and reviewing it, all raving about how wonderful the story is.  It also has a beautiful blue and gold cover that immediately draws your attention.  As I thought about my 2018 reading goals, I realized that reading "Strange the Dreamer" would allow me to tick off two of my boxes.  1) Listen to a book as an audio book.  "Strange the Dreamer" falls into the fantasy genre.  With fantasy writing, there tends to be some odd names.  Some of my struggle with reading fantasy is that it can be hard for me to follow because I can't grasp the pronunciation of the names, cities, and it makes the dialogue tricky.  If I can listen to someone do that for me, it may make it easier for me.  2) Read more "current" or "trendy" books.  A lot of people listed this book on their top reads for 2017.  I may be a little behind, but I'm hoping I can still ride the wave since it was just published March 2017.

I found an app called "Overdrive" for audio books.  I could plug in all of my library card information once, and then I had access to my library's e-book and audio book files without having to re-login every single time.  You still have to make sure that something is in your library's collection, wait for it to be available, and follow the check-out guidelines, but it just seemed more convenient than going through my library's website.

For me personally, I find it difficult to listen to audio books without the text in front of me.  I need the visual in front of me to focus.  Otherwise, I find myself a half hour into an audio book, and I realize I've been thinking about my grocery list, the laundry that needs done, how the weather is outside... and I have absolutely  no idea what I've just listened to.  But it was a massive help that the audio book narrator was the one who had to struggle through the foreign names and wacky pronunciations.  Luckily, I found the e-book online and was able to read along while I listened to the audio book to help keep my concentration and focus.  The only other issue I found with that, was that I visually read faster than the narrator talked.  Sometimes when a big plot twist was coming, I would spoil myself by speed reading ahead and then wait for him to catch up.

With about 50 pages left, I had to check to see if it was a stand alone or a series because there was NO WAY it was all going to wrap up in just a few pages.  It sounds like she is in the midst of writing the second book, and we aren't sure if it will be a duology or a trilogy by the end.  As of now, it doesn't appear that there is a release date for the second book.  Be prepared for things to feel unresolved at the end of this first book.

I loved the layout of the book.  It is broken into four parts, but I obviously don't want to spoil the book by covering all of them.  Part One covers the introduction and basics for one of the main characters named Lazlo Strange.  You find out that he is an orphan who has an affinity for this lost city of "Weep."  Weep actually had a different name at one point, but it was attacked and the true name of the city was stripped away and all that remained was Weep.  Most people don't really care or remember much about Weep, but Lazlo wants to learn all he can about it.  The book follows Lazlo's journey to learn about Weep as well as his own past.  You meet some other people along the way, but I think it's best to go into the book a little blind.  It helps when you let your idea of the world build with Lazlo's knowledge.
I thought the ending was really rushed.  I read that she had intended for it to be one book and then decided to extend it, and I think that really shows.  We also meet a love interest later on in the book, but I thought their dynamic was so-so.  I think the author was trying to portray them both as very innocent and naive but to me that came across as lacking depth.  The plot and character developments just started out so strong, and I felt it started to decline by the end.  Regardless, I'm still really looking forward to the other book(s) in the series!

Rating: 3.75 out of 5
* Positives: Lazlo's character growth and development, layout of the first half of the book, and really most things surrounding Lazlo.  I loved his character.
* Negatives: There were a few times I felt lost which were usually cleared up later, the rushed ending, and the "romance."

Stanyan Street & Other Sorrows by Rod McKuen

My grandmother had a box of books, none of which initially interested me, that have been sitting on the bottom of my bookshelf.  Shamefully, I'll admit that I was looking for the shortest book I could find, when I stumbled across Stanyan Street.  The inside of the dust jacket said that the author, Rod McKuen, was one of the best contemporary song writers of the current time.  A list of fifteen records were all outlined on the back flap of the book.  I then noticed my great grandmother's signature and date on the first page - Peg Phelps 1967.  Intrigued, I decided to start reading.

Before I give my opinion on his collection, I have to say that I'm not the biggest fan of poetry as a genre.  I probably appreciate it more than the average person, but I certainly do not go out of my way to read it.  I find that most poets feel the need to play up an aesthetic doused in melancholy, angst, and futile relationships.  Mr. McKuen followed that trend.  What may come across as sensitive and introspective to some just seems despondent and woe-is-me personally.  He starts out the book diving straight into his father-son abandonment issues.  Then seems to point out multiple times that he won't even give a romantic relationships a real chance because he knows they will eventually fail.  It reminds me a little of "The Catcher in the Rye."  Some people can read that book and feel empathetic and relate to Holden, while other readers just want him to get over his attitude and grow up.  In the same vein, I just wanted Rod McKuen to get over his depressive drama and realize there is more to life.  As a positive, I think his poetry stands the test of time.  I think that a lot of poetry lovers would still appreciate his work today.  I don't think there is anything wrong with his style of writing, the expressiveness, or his skill level.  I just think he needs to cheer up and get over himself a little!

My great grandmother had bookmarked a poem called "Spring Song", but that one was still a little too depressing for me.  The one that seemed to peak my interest was called "Camera."  I've copied it down below for you all to read.  I hope you enjoy!

I stand just so.

Your camera winks me into permanence

acne scars

               tired eyes

wrinkles on my forehead

more naked than I have ever been

               (especially to one

               I love so very much).

I used to be afraid to look completely real

the sun was just my friend sometimes

when brown from sea and sky made things all right --

always afraid to be anything but young

and envying beauty

               even on the face of strangers

Is this what growing up means

the reality of lighting over public mirrors?

Or is my confidence in love so great

that I worry not

to let you see me at my worst?

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

When people describe the fall season, some quintessential moments may be the chill air, crisp leaves in an array of colors, football games, apple cider, cozy flannels, and maybe even some scarier Halloween related activities.  Evidently, "The Night Circus" is a part of that category as well in the book-reading community.  I had heard quite a few recommendations for the book, but never really felt inspired to pick it up.  It just so happens that the book captures a lot of those classic fall motifs and really draws you into the spirit of the season.  Since reading the book, I have seen multiple readers coming out of the woodwork saying they are preparing for their annual fall re-read of this book.  I'm grateful that I happened to read it at the opportune time.  I highly recommend reading this book during the fall/colder season versus spring or summer.

It is reported that the author starting writing the book for NaNoWriMo, which is short for the National Novel Writing Month.  This is more of an internet spread idea in which people attempt to write a novel (50,000 words) during the month of November.  Wikipedia states that she wrote the book over the span of three NaNoWriMo's.

This is a fantasy novel written about a circus that will appear in different cities without warning and perform for a short amount of time before packing up and moving to a different unannounced location.  Within the circus, there is a competition that has been in the works for years.  There is mystery surrounding the circus performers, the rivalry, and a peculiar charm that seems to envelope the reveurs (devoted fans) of the circus.  I don't want to spoil the mystery and allure of the story, so I won't delve into the plot any further.

The writing is glorious.  I feel like I've read a lot of books that have been character driven lately, where the plot and "world" that the author creates were a little lack-luster.  It was refreshing to dive into a book that seems to sweep you away from reality.  You really feel transported to the Night Circus and can imagine being there, even with all of the fantasy aspects.  There are some people who may not appeal to the fantasy genre, but I think the fact that it takes place in a circus helps with that.  People expect wonderment, intrigue, and mind games in a circus so adding some additional fantasy story lines to the normal slight of hand tricks isn't too far of stretch.

It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I definitely think it's well worth the read if it sounds like it follows your normal interests.

Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene Brown

Brene Brown is one of my go-to authors for self-help and non fiction books.  Rather than covering the classic self-help topics like weight loss or anxiety, her research covers vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy.  Brene helps shine a light on common humanity, a concept that we are all experiencing and suffering with the same issues, to remind the reader that we are all working on bettering ourselves rather than suffering through embarrassment alone.

This book in particular was supposed to cover themes on fitting in and authenticity.  This is something that I've really been focusing on in my own life, so I was highly anticipating this read.  Unfortunately, I wasn't really that blown away by the book.  It was certainly well written, and it's okay as a stand alone book, but I feel like her other books are stronger.

I felt like Brene continued to revert back to politics when trying to describe things.  As an example, she talks about how fitting in can feel difficult when you are surrounded by people with different political ideals than you.  It's true.  We can be a very divided country in this day and age.  But.... politics, in general, can be a very touchy subject.  I can tell that she feels very passionate about the political vibe of our country, but I just didn't appreciate how she continued to tie it into all of her subject matter.  I also saw a different review on Goodreads from someone outside of America who said she couldn't follow all of the political references.

To be entirely honest, I think this would have made a better master class or TED talk than a brand new book.  I don't think she had enough new content for a $28 book.

A lot of the concepts or ideas she brings to the table are valid and thought provoking.  Truly, she is a fabulous researcher.  It just wasn't enough new data, her views were a little biased, and it wasn't always in the right context to constitute the book.  It was a strike for me.  I would highly recommend her other works like "Daring Greatly" or "Rising Strong" if you're going to pick up one of her books.

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

I recently went to Barnes & Noble to buy some books for my birthday.  I found a table that had a buy 2 get 1 free deal, but you had to pick books on the table.  Immediately I knew two books I wanted.  I had no idea what I wanted for the third book.  So I meandered around, picked up a few different books, read a few different pages, and stumbled across this book.  I had never heard of it before, never heard of the author, and had no idea what it was about.  But I've always been interested in cognitive science (science of the brain) and a "why we do the things we do" study of psychology.  It peaked my interest enough where I picked it up and brought it home.  As soon as I started reading it, I realized I would need a highlighter for all of the morsels of knowledge Duhigg provides along the way.

The book covers three different sections.  The first section explains how habits form as part of every day life.  It breaks down the science behind the formation of habits and how we can change them.  The second part of the book shows how to focus on successful habits to grow an organization or company.  The third part looks at large society groups, like churches or the civil rights movement, and how they respond to habits.  Throughout each section, it continually reminds you how the habits are formed.

As I'm finishing the book, my group of friends has decided to go on a diet starting August 1st.  Here I am reading a book about understanding your habits (both good and bad), learning how to change bad habits and create new habits, and finding the insight to recognize why I may have failed before.  What wonderful insight it has provided for me!  I still have to put in the hard work, but at least I feel like I know what to look for now.  I can follow some of the advice and plans in the book to set myself up for a better chance at success.  I really am intrigued to know if my diet will be more successful now that I've read this book.

Not only did the book make me think about my upcoming diet plans with my friends, but it opened up the thought process for a number of different habits I've formed.  To quote from the first chapter, "more than 40 percent of the actions people performed each day" aren't actual decisions, but habits.  If we can become more observant and retrospective as to why we have created habits for ourselves, it is remarkable to think of the outcome we may be able to have.  Of course, there are positive habits.  Not all of them are negative.  I guess the point is to sit and understand why the habit exists, if it is a positive or negative habit, and if there is a way to change it for the better.  I may not want to change every habit I have ever formed, but I'm hoping that this book has at least given me the option to change some of my habits for the better.

The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

Nicola Yoon is the current "it girl" of young adult literature.  Both of her books are New York Times Bestsellers, and her previous book was recently released as a film.  The cover art of this particular book is STUNNING.  Seriously beautiful.  I'm sure you've all heard the adage to "never judge a book by its cover" before, but I'm positive that people have picked up this book purely because of the beautiful cover art.  I wouldn't be surprised if this book is a movie in a year or two based on how well it has been doing.

"The Sun is Also A Star" is a story about Natasha and Daniel.  Daniel is scheduled to have a recommendation interview so he can attend Yale in a few years.  Natasha's family is going to be deported at the end of the day, and she is desperate to find a way to stay.  The book follows all of the details and happenstance moments of the one day they have together in New York City.  Natasha is a realist, cynic, and data driven pessimist.  Daniel is a hopeless romantic, a poet, and waits for the wind to blow him in the right direction.  Opposites truly attract in their situation.  Daniel falls head over heals for Natasha within moments of meeting her.  He then tries to convince Natasha that he can make her fall in love with him.  Throughout the day, we also catch glimpses into the backstory of why Natasha's family is being deported, Daniel's resistance to attending Yale, and other people they meet along the journey.

Similar to my "Catcher in the Rye" review, I think you will appreciate the book more if you truly enjoy the young adult genre and/or you are a young adult.  It had the tear-jerking, heavy make-out scenes, and easy-read style of a young adult book, but it doesn't have the same romantic capacity of a Nicholas Sparks book.  I thought it was really sweet and endearing to peak into the character's lives for a day instead of spending years following a relationship.  It makes it a much more casual read, but you still feel invested in the outcome.  I can understand why the young adult generation is raving about the book so wildly.

I think a lot of people are drawn to the book for her diversity in character development as well.  The typical blonde-hair, blue-eyed, popular girl is such romance novel trope character.  Seeing teenage characters that are actually outside that realm is refreshing and different.  The plot lines around deportation and family loyalty were such a lovely dynamic.  Granted, I haven't read a wide selection of other romance novels recently, so they may all revolve around similar themes nowadays.  Maybe I need to read other romance books to truly compare.  Perhaps that will be a future review for a different month!

You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero

I started out my book review blog with "You are a Badass" by Jen Sincero, and here I am 6 months later reading another book of hers.  I may not be covering the most broad spectrum of books, but I'm telling you, there is something about these books that lights a fire under my ass.  I'm hoping they will for you too.

While reading the first book, she briefly talks about money struggles and fear surrounding money.  While reading over those sections I realized how much baggage I carry in that department.  I am not afraid to say that I am a frugal person.  I hate to spend money if I don't have to; I cringe while buying necessary items; and I cause myself a ridiculous amount of stress over silly pieces of green paper.  I don't think I am suffering in the money department (thank goodness), but I am one of those people who just wishes I had some more wiggle room every once in awhile.  My mom and I both have these irrational money woes, and we discuss them often with each other.  We were walking through Target grumbling about money - the same Target where the first book popped out at me - and we happen to see this brand new book from Jen Sincero that is ENTIRELY about creating your own solutions when it comes to money worries.  Clearly, we both saw it as a sign, and we both picked up our own copies.  I flew through my copy in a few days.

It feels like the author's intentions are to allow you to dream about your future.  After you dreamed up the most fantastical, wonderful story about your picture-perfect life, she starts to lay out steps on how you can actually move towards that goal.  Then she covers all of the internal mind games you start to say to yourself.  Like why you don't deserve to follow your dreams and be successful at them because your boring, stable, ho-hum job gets you through the day.  It's amazing how you subconsciously (and sometimes consciously too) tell yourself that you don't deserve to be wealthy.  Why shouldn't you be rich?

Most of her thought process seems to follow the Law of Attraction.  If you believe that you can create money making opportunities for yourself, then you will have the willpower to make it happen.  I'm personally a believer in the Law of Attraction.  If I strive to have a positive outlook every day, then I will be more likely to see positive things around me.  If I'm you're negative and hopeless all day, then you look like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh with a sad, little rain cloud over your head.  Jen Sincero expands the options for the Laws of Attraction into the realm of money and tries to take some of the taboo out of it.  

I started putting Jen's ideas to practice after finishing the book.  In an interesting twist to this review, I actually had a remarkable opportunity come my way that affirmed her process.  I found out that I was getting a parking spot through my work, and I would be saving $120 per month.  HUGE!  I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've caught myself saying, "If I just had an extra hundred or two hundred every month..."  And like a sign from heaven I receive the parking pass.  Dream big!  Who knows what joys will come my way if I continue believing I'm a badass at making money.

Life of Pi by Yann Martel

I struggled to find a book for May.  As you can see, I'm cutting it a little close to the end of the month.  I picked up a lot of books, read a few chapters, and couldn't find an interest in anything.  A friend of mine actually gifted me this book about a year ago, and it has been sitting on my bookshelf patiently waiting.  I picked it up and thought to myself, "What could possibly be so interesting about being stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean for days with a tiger..."  It was obvious that he would survive -- I mean what a weird book it would be if he wrote it and then died at the end -- so what grand adventure would take 300 pages?  Knowing my deadline was close, and that it was a successful movie, I figured it had enough plot to keep me occupied.

Part One of the book introduces you to Piscine Molitor Patel.  Piscine grows up in Pondicherry, a city in India, and his parents own a zoo.  Piscine is teased for his name during his school years, so he takes on the nickname of "Pi."  We learn history about his family's zoo, animal psychology, and read anecdotes of specific animals.  We also learn about his journey for spirituality.  Pi is raised with Hinduism (although his family is more indifferent to religion), but he decides to further include the faith practices of Christianity and Islam.  His family and pastors don't fully understand his pious desires, but it is hard to punish a child who is spending their afternoons praying instead of getting into trouble.  At the close of Part One, we learn that Pi's family is selling the zoo and moving to Canada.

Part Two takes place almost entirely on the Pacific Ocean.  It starts on the Tsimtsum, which is the boat taking his family to Canada, until the boat inexplicably fails and sinks.  Pi finds himself on a lifeboat with an injured zebra, an orangutan, and a hyena.  As the three animals begin to fight for dominance, he realizes that a tiger from their zoo is also on board the lifeboat.  The tiger's name is Richard Parker.  Eventually, Pi and Richard Parker are alone on the lifeboat together.  Pi spends the rest of Part Two talking about his struggles for survival.  Trying to find fresh water, trying to find food for himself and Richard Parker, and surviving his living arrangements with a full-grown tiger.  Pi attempts to use his zoo experience and background to assert himself as the alpha animal presence.

I won't ruin Part Three for you, but obviously we find out the resolution of the story here.  There is a pretty big twist at the end of the book.  I had to go back and re-read the "reveal" a few times to fully comprehend what I was seeing.  It took me a day or two to really determine if I liked the ending or not.  But I think it is a really beautiful resolution to the story.

This review covers a lot of the surface material in the book.  However, the power of the book itself is the subtle journey it takes you on.  Not only are you reading Pi's narrative, but in the back of your mind you begin to wonder how you would have coped with his trials and suffering.  He makes the 277 days at sea seem almost peaceful, if that is even possible.  The compassion and respect Pi and Richard Parker have for one another is truly remarkable as it becomes imperative to their survival to tame one another.  The Life of Pi will make you question your own resolve, consider the strength of your spirituality, and it will make you grateful for the comforts you have around you in every day life.

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

This book will peak your interest if you like one of the following: anything to do with trains, the difficulties of running your own business, strong female main characters, political unrest to due an overly strict government, or you just like suffering through 1,000+ page books for no apparent reason.  About 2/3rds of the way through the book, I realized that no one was actually going to read this book based on my review, and I almost gave up on it.  I think I finished it just to say I did it and less out of enjoyment for the book itself.  As a matter of fact, I struggled through a lot of this book.  I told my mom that the author must have suffered from writer's flood versus writer's block.  You could have cut out 600 pages of the book and it still would have made sense.  I'll still give you a brief overview of the story just in case in interests some poor soul out there who wants to read it.

Dagny Taggart, is the Vice President of Taggart Transcontinental.  This is a family run railroad business.  Taggart Transcontinental starts to have difficulty as more and more regulations are being implemented by the government.  The political figures make these regulations with intentions to hurt successful companies while saying they are trying to level the playing field for all businesses.  In an effort to save her railway, Dagny works with Hank Reardon, of Reardon Metals, to create a new, cost effective railroad with a new metal alloy Reardon created.  As Dagny and Hank continue to work together, the government starts to crumble the entire industrial backbone of the country.  Many of Dagny's supporters and friends, who are also business owners, are disappearing into thin air to save themselves.  Dagny is on a mission to find out why her friends are disappearing, as she knows she will most likely be approached at some point about whatever it is that makes them leave.  Will she be able to save Taggart Transcontinental?

It is a very well written book.  Just too long winded for the every day causal reader.  I had to put post-it tabs in my book to make sure I was staying on task and meeting my quotas for the week.  In Section Three of the book, the author changes course entirely - it is where you learn about all of Dagny's disappearing friends - it suddenly becomes exciting again, but I felt like the excitement was short lived.  And I thought the resolution to the book was so-so.

In closing, if you are a die-hard lover of books, and you are looking for a ridiculous challenge... try reading the Game of Thrones book series!  Just kidding.  But really...  You may love "Atlas Shrugged", you may hate it, you may fizzle in and out of it like I did, but at least you can appreciate the time and effort Ayn Rand took to write this monster of a novel.

I have to address something quickly before diving into the review.  A lovely coworker of mine featured my blog in the 12th floor newsletter!  So thank you to any new readers who may have started following along.  She mentioned that my next post may be a how-to knitting book, so I'm sorry if anyone was looking forward to that.  In reality, I know the majority of my "audience" is probably random 20-some year old friends of mine who notice my link on Facebook, so I'm thinking you all aren't too devastated that I strayed from a knitting book.  Hope you enjoy this lovely book below....

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

After reading this book, I thought this review would be really easy for me to write.  The writing style and the philosophy behind the book pull at your heartstrings enough to make you want to talk about how amazing the book is.  But this review in particular has taken me a few weeks to actually sit down and write.

The author, Paul, is coming to the fruition of his education as a neurosurgeon.  Countless hours have been spent working towards his goal of being a doctor.  When he finally sees the end in sight, he is diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer.  Paul Kalanithi passed away March 2015 while working on this book.  It was published posthumously January 2016.  Reading this short summary while standing in Barnes and Nobles was enough to peak my interest, but I had no idea how deeply Paul's writing would connect with me on a personal level.

Paul opens the book discussing his diagnosis with cancer.  I was pretty surprised he decided to start the book with that.  Especially since there was a lot of the book left to read, and I know from personal experience that cancer does not give you that much time.  I was a little afraid he would discuss the ugly side of cancer too much.  The sick, the death, the pain.  Luckily he did not take that turn.  He delves back into his past to talk about his early education in English, life with his wife, and changing his path to medicine.  He takes you through the struggle of medical school and the grueling hours.  Paul talks about his constant struggle with wanting to treat people as people instead of a diagnosis on a piece of paper.  And then the tables are flipped on him when he is diagnosed.  He suddenly becomes the patient and the statistic.  He goes from working full time, 100 miles per hour, and in control of his life, to an abrupt halt.  His doctor urges him to go after his passion because there is no guarantee in a successful recovery.  He has to decide if that is continuing in the medical field or following his first passion and writing a book.  Obviously, we are reading the product of his choice.

This book is about looking mortality in the face and doing so with a thirst for knowledge.  The beauty of the book is that you get to view it from the perspective of both the doctor and the patient.  It is hard to give this book the justice it deserves.  For that reason, I am going to finish the review by quoting a paragraph from the epilogue written by his wife, Lucy.  

This book carries the urgency of racing against time, of having importing things to say.  Paul confronted death -- examined it, wrestled with it, accepted it -- as a physician and a patient.  He wanted to help people understand death and face their mortality.  Dying in one's fourth decade is unusual now, but dying is not.  "The thing about lung cancer is that it's not exotic," Paul wrote in an email to his best friend, Robin.  "It's just tragic enough and just imaginable enough.  [The reader] can get into these shoes, walk a bit, and say, 'So that's what it looks like from here ... sooner or later I'll be back here in my own shoes.' That's what I'm aiming for, I think.  Not the sensationalism of dying, and not the exhortation to gather rosebuds, but: Here's what lies up ahead on the road."  Of course he did more than just describe the terrain.  He traversed it bravely.

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

The Girl on the Train is a psychological thriller.  The book hops back and forth between three perspectives-- the alcoholic and lonely Rachel; the over-protective mother and jealous wife Anna; and the beautiful and repetitively unfaithful Megan.

Rachel is truly the main character.  She is a middle aged woman who is struggling.  She is an alcoholic who suffers regular black outs.  You also learn about her ex-husband, Tom, who cheated on her.  Rachel regularly rides the train in and out of London to hide her unemployment from her roommate.  During her train ride, Rachel points out two houses to the reader.  One of the houses she passes is her old house.  Her ex-husband and his new wife, Anna, now live there.  Rachel tries to avoid looking at Tom and Anna's house.  Instead, she focuses her attention down the street to a different house.  We later come to realize that Megan and her husband Scott live in this second house.  Rachel fantasizes about Megan's picture-perfect life, and she envies the blissful marriage she creates for them.  During one train ride, Rachel glances at Megan's house to see her kissing someone other than her husband.  Rachel is shocked.  Although she has never actually met Megan, Rachel cannot fathom her cheating on her husband.  Rachel drinks heavily that night.  The following morning, Rachel wakes up with little to no memory of the previous night, but finds herself covered in bruises and blood on her hands.  She later hears on the news that Megan has gone missing.  Rachel feels drawn to the case, and she is convinced that what she witnessed is pertinent information.  She becomes involved with the police, contacts Megan's husband, and slowly starts to piece together her black-out from the night Megan went missing.

This book blew up pretty quickly.  The movie adaptation came out October 2016.  I always recommend reading the book before watching the movie if possible.  I heard it was similar to Gone Girl.  I hated Gone Girl (the book), so I was a little nervous to pick this up.  Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised.  For the most part, I thought it was a pretty easy read.  You get caught up in the drama of the characters and next thing you know an hour has passed.  Just when you think you know the main suspect, they introduce new evidence or a twist to make you change your mind.  It can get a little confusing bouncing between different character's past and present story lines, but you can still follow without it needing to be extremely specific.  My only other complaint is the glorification of cheating on your spouse throughout the book.  Unfaithful relationships become crucial to the plot line.  I can't really say much more without ruining the story, but it was a little disappointing to continually see cheating as a core theme of the book.

I was up until 1:30am trying to fly through the last hundred pages of the book.  There was no way to go to sleep without knowing the resolution when you can see the end in sight!  Afterwards, I had to turn the TV on and make sure the front door was locked.  I have to admit, I'm very easily spooked, and reading thrillers at night probably isn't the best for me.  Even now I'm peeking over my computer screen to make sure no one is coming up the stairs with a butcher knife waiting for their moment to strike.  As much as I love the suspense and page turning that thrillers provide, my heart just can't handle it.  Maybe I can convince Derrick to watch the movie with me this weekend mid-day with the lights on and sun shining.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

I think your opinion of this book is greatly determined by the age at which you read it.  If you are an angsty, hate-the-world teenager, then you will probably love this book.  If you do not happen to currently fall into that age bracket or have similar feelings of that age bracket, then I'm not sure if you will enjoy the book as much.  I'll start off this review by saying that I do not fall into the grumpy, whiny, teen category.  I was pretty disappointment with the mindset and outlook of the main character throughout the plot of the book.  Let me explain...

The main character, Holden Caulfield, is a teenager who attends a famous school named Pencey Prep in Pennsylvania.  You quickly come to find that Holden is being kicked out of Pencey for failing the majority of his classes and not applying himself.  This is not the first school he has been kicked out of.  His attitude and humor are dark, twisted, and deprecating.  To be completely honest, he sounds like a whiny brat to me.  Throughout his incessant whining, you learn some history about Holden's life, and it gives you some insight on why he behaves the way he does.  

For one, he is not the smoothest with the ladies.  He talks about sex and wanting to lose his virginity throughout the book; however, he realizes that he wants more than just casual sex, and he never follows through with any attempts he initiates.  He also has an affinity for saying the word "phony" as an adjective to describe anything or anyone he encounters.  Anytime someone disagrees with him or is being (in his mind) inauthentic, he sees them as a phony person.  In reality, he is just too close-minded to realize that he may be wrong about an idea or opinion he has.  A great example of that would be schooling.  He has been kicked out of a few schools at this point.  He is about it be kicked out of another, yet anyone who tries to talk to him about schooling is usually called a phony at some point in the conversation.  On a more serious note, you find out that Holden's younger brother, Allie, passed away from leukemia about three years before the book takes place.  With all of the drama and sullenness, you can't help but feel compassionate for Holden when you find out about his brother.  It doesn't forgive all of his bad behavior, but it certainly helps to explain it.

In short, The Cather in the Rye covers a lot of themes linked to the fear of growing up.  Holden so desperately wants to stay young, innocent, and care-free, but realizes that he can't.  He isn't ready to fully come to terms with the responsibility of adulthood just yet, but he knows that the time is coming.  He is stuck between childhood and adulthood.  At the end of the book, Holden is reconnected with his little sister Phoebe.  Time with Phoebe brings back some of the sweetness in his life, and you see his attitude shift for the better.  This is the only time we truly see a happy, content Holden.

I wasn't a huge fan of the book.  To be honest, I'm not always impressed with the "classics" when it comes to books.  I appreciate the fact that the author could be so candid and honest in Holden's perspective, but it was just a little too honest for me.  I can't imagine living my life being so incredibly critical of everyone and everything.  How miserable would that be!  Needless to say, I'm grateful to check this one off of my to-read list, and it is on to the next one!