Stanyan Street & Other Sorrows by Rod McKuen

My grandmother had a box of books, none of which initially interested me, that have been sitting on the bottom of my bookshelf.  Shamefully, I'll admit that I was looking for the shortest book I could find, when I stumbled across Stanyan Street.  The inside of the dust jacket said that the author, Rod McKuen, was one of the best contemporary song writers of the current time.  A list of fifteen records were all outlined on the back flap of the book.  I then noticed my great grandmother's signature and date on the first page - Peg Phelps 1967.  Intrigued, I decided to start reading.

Before I give my opinion on his collection, I have to say that I'm not the biggest fan of poetry as a genre.  I probably appreciate it more than the average person, but I certainly do not go out of my way to read it.  I find that most poets feel the need to play up an aesthetic doused in melancholy, angst, and futile relationships.  Mr. McKuen followed that trend.  What may come across as sensitive and introspective to some just seems despondent and woe-is-me personally.  He starts out the book diving straight into his father-son abandonment issues.  Then seems to point out multiple times that he won't even give a romantic relationships a real chance because he knows they will eventually fail.  It reminds me a little of "The Catcher in the Rye."  Some people can read that book and feel empathetic and relate to Holden, while other readers just want him to get over his attitude and grow up.  In the same vein, I just wanted Rod McKuen to get over his depressive drama and realize there is more to life.  As a positive, I think his poetry stands the test of time.  I think that a lot of poetry lovers would still appreciate his work today.  I don't think there is anything wrong with his style of writing, the expressiveness, or his skill level.  I just think he needs to cheer up and get over himself a little!

My great grandmother had bookmarked a poem called "Spring Song", but that one was still a little too depressing for me.  The one that seemed to peak my interest was called "Camera."  I've copied it down below for you all to read.  I hope you enjoy!

I stand just so.

Your camera winks me into permanence

acne scars

               tired eyes

wrinkles on my forehead

more naked than I have ever been

               (especially to one

               I love so very much).

I used to be afraid to look completely real

the sun was just my friend sometimes

when brown from sea and sky made things all right --

always afraid to be anything but young

and envying beauty

               even on the face of strangers

Is this what growing up means

the reality of lighting over public mirrors?

Or is my confidence in love so great

that I worry not

to let you see me at my worst?

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

When people describe the fall season, some quintessential moments may be the chill air, crisp leaves in an array of colors, football games, apple cider, cozy flannels, and maybe even some scarier Halloween related activities.  Evidently, "The Night Circus" is a part of that category as well in the book-reading community.  I had heard quite a few recommendations for the book, but never really felt inspired to pick it up.  It just so happens that the book captures a lot of those classic fall motifs and really draws you into the spirit of the season.  Since reading the book, I have seen multiple readers coming out of the woodwork saying they are preparing for their annual fall re-read of this book.  I'm grateful that I happened to read it at the opportune time.  I highly recommend reading this book during the fall/colder season versus spring or summer.

It is reported that the author starting writing the book for NaNoWriMo, which is short for the National Novel Writing Month.  This is more of an internet spread idea in which people attempt to write a novel (50,000 words) during the month of November.  Wikipedia states that she wrote the book over the span of three NaNoWriMo's.

This is a fantasy novel written about a circus that will appear in different cities without warning and perform for a short amount of time before packing up and moving to a different unannounced location.  Within the circus, there is a competition that has been in the works for years.  There is mystery surrounding the circus performers, the rivalry, and a peculiar charm that seems to envelope the reveurs (devoted fans) of the circus.  I don't want to spoil the mystery and allure of the story, so I won't delve into the plot any further.

The writing is glorious.  I feel like I've read a lot of books that have been character driven lately, where the plot and "world" that the author creates were a little lack-luster.  It was refreshing to dive into a book that seems to sweep you away from reality.  You really feel transported to the Night Circus and can imagine being there, even with all of the fantasy aspects.  There are some people who may not appeal to the fantasy genre, but I think the fact that it takes place in a circus helps with that.  People expect wonderment, intrigue, and mind games in a circus so adding some additional fantasy story lines to the normal slight of hand tricks isn't too far of stretch.

It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I definitely think it's well worth the read if it sounds like it follows your normal interests.

Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene Brown

Brene Brown is one of my go-to authors for self-help and non fiction books.  Rather than covering the classic self-help topics like weight loss or anxiety, her research covers vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy.  Brene helps shine a light on common humanity, a concept that we are all experiencing and suffering with the same issues, to remind the reader that we are all working on bettering ourselves rather than suffering through embarrassment alone.

This book in particular was supposed to cover themes on fitting in and authenticity.  This is something that I've really been focusing on in my own life, so I was highly anticipating this read.  Unfortunately, I wasn't really that blown away by the book.  It was certainly well written, and it's okay as a stand alone book, but I feel like her other books are stronger.

I felt like Brene continued to revert back to politics when trying to describe things.  As an example, she talks about how fitting in can feel difficult when you are surrounded by people with different political ideals than you.  It's true.  We can be a very divided country in this day and age.  But.... politics, in general, can be a very touchy subject.  I can tell that she feels very passionate about the political vibe of our country, but I just didn't appreciate how she continued to tie it into all of her subject matter.  I also saw a different review on Goodreads from someone outside of America who said she couldn't follow all of the political references.

To be entirely honest, I think this would have made a better master class or TED talk than a brand new book.  I don't think she had enough new content for a $28 book.

A lot of the concepts or ideas she brings to the table are valid and thought provoking.  Truly, she is a fabulous researcher.  It just wasn't enough new data, her views were a little biased, and it wasn't always in the right context to constitute the book.  It was a strike for me.  I would highly recommend her other works like "Daring Greatly" or "Rising Strong" if you're going to pick up one of her books.

Wonder by R.J. Palacio

My mom was catching up with an old friend, who is now a middle school English teacher.  She was talking about the books on her class syllabus this year being The Giver, The Hobbit, and Wonder.  My mom asked if the teacher had an extra copy she could borrow, which thankfully she lent us.  The Giver and The Hobbit are both stellar books, and the teacher raved about how wonderful Wonder was as well.  For it to be in the same category as the other two, I figured it would be worth reading.

We are introduced to August or "Auggie" Pullman, who is going into fifth grade.  To make that situation even more daunting, this is Auggie's first year in a public school setting.  He has previously been home schooled due to all of his vast medical issues.  Auggie was born with a condition called mandibulofacial dysostosis, which can result in facial abnormalities.  Throughout the book, he has to battle with the normal struggles of fitting in, making friends, and school work, all while his classmates whisper behind his back and are afraid to touch him because of how he looks.

Not only do we see Auggie's point of view during the school year, but we are given insight into a few different characters as well.  We see some view points of Auggie's friends, Auggie's sister (Via or Olivia), and a few other outer characters as well.  This allows the reader to see an outsider's perspective on Auggie's teasing and how his friend's and family react to his trials.  Auggie knows the difficulty he faces on a day to day basis, but I don't know if he realizes the difficulties his friend's and family face to be there for him the way they choose to be.

I think this is a fabulous book for a middle school English class.  It seems like it would be a wonderful way to drive home an anti-bullying policy instead of trying to lecture from the front of the classroom.  You feel invested with the characters and truly want to see the best for all of them.  I would love to see a future book about Auggie going to high school to see a follow-up timeline.  I do know that the book is being made into a movie starring Owen Wilson, Julia Roberts, and Jacob Tremblay, but I'm not sure when it's coming to theaters.  In the end, Wonder shows us the power of kindness, the strength of friendship, and that you can always overcome your adversities.  It's a lovely, heartwarming story that is well worth the read.

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

I recently went to Barnes & Noble to buy some books for my birthday.  I found a table that had a buy 2 get 1 free deal, but you had to pick books on the table.  Immediately I knew two books I wanted.  I had no idea what I wanted for the third book.  So I meandered around, picked up a few different books, read a few different pages, and stumbled across this book.  I had never heard of it before, never heard of the author, and had no idea what it was about.  But I've always been interested in cognitive science (science of the brain) and a "why we do the things we do" study of psychology.  It peaked my interest enough where I picked it up and brought it home.  As soon as I started reading it, I realized I would need a highlighter for all of the morsels of knowledge Duhigg provides along the way.

The book covers three different sections.  The first section explains how habits form as part of every day life.  It breaks down the science behind the formation of habits and how we can change them.  The second part of the book shows how to focus on successful habits to grow an organization or company.  The third part looks at large society groups, like churches or the civil rights movement, and how they respond to habits.  Throughout each section, it continually reminds you how the habits are formed.

As I'm finishing the book, my group of friends has decided to go on a diet starting August 1st.  Here I am reading a book about understanding your habits (both good and bad), learning how to change bad habits and create new habits, and finding the insight to recognize why I may have failed before.  What wonderful insight it has provided for me!  I still have to put in the hard work, but at least I feel like I know what to look for now.  I can follow some of the advice and plans in the book to set myself up for a better chance at success.  I really am intrigued to know if my diet will be more successful now that I've read this book.

Not only did the book make me think about my upcoming diet plans with my friends, but it opened up the thought process for a number of different habits I've formed.  To quote from the first chapter, "more than 40 percent of the actions people performed each day" aren't actual decisions, but habits.  If we can become more observant and retrospective as to why we have created habits for ourselves, it is remarkable to think of the outcome we may be able to have.  Of course, there are positive habits.  Not all of them are negative.  I guess the point is to sit and understand why the habit exists, if it is a positive or negative habit, and if there is a way to change it for the better.  I may not want to change every habit I have ever formed, but I'm hoping that this book has at least given me the option to change some of my habits for the better.

The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

Nicola Yoon is the current "it girl" of young adult literature.  Both of her books are New York Times Bestsellers, and her previous book was recently released as a film.  The cover art of this particular book is STUNNING.  Seriously beautiful.  I'm sure you've all heard the adage to "never judge a book by its cover" before, but I'm positive that people have picked up this book purely because of the beautiful cover art.  I wouldn't be surprised if this book is a movie in a year or two based on how well it has been doing.

"The Sun is Also A Star" is a story about Natasha and Daniel.  Daniel is scheduled to have a recommendation interview so he can attend Yale in a few years.  Natasha's family is going to be deported at the end of the day, and she is desperate to find a way to stay.  The book follows all of the details and happenstance moments of the one day they have together in New York City.  Natasha is a realist, cynic, and data driven pessimist.  Daniel is a hopeless romantic, a poet, and waits for the wind to blow him in the right direction.  Opposites truly attract in their situation.  Daniel falls head over heals for Natasha within moments of meeting her.  He then tries to convince Natasha that he can make her fall in love with him.  Throughout the day, we also catch glimpses into the backstory of why Natasha's family is being deported, Daniel's resistance to attending Yale, and other people they meet along the journey.

Similar to my "Catcher in the Rye" review, I think you will appreciate the book more if you truly enjoy the young adult genre and/or you are a young adult.  It had the tear-jerking, heavy make-out scenes, and easy-read style of a young adult book, but it doesn't have the same romantic capacity of a Nicholas Sparks book.  I thought it was really sweet and endearing to peak into the character's lives for a day instead of spending years following a relationship.  It makes it a much more casual read, but you still feel invested in the outcome.  I can understand why the young adult generation is raving about the book so wildly.

I think a lot of people are drawn to the book for her diversity in character development as well.  The typical blonde-hair, blue-eyed, popular girl is such romance novel trope character.  Seeing teenage characters that are actually outside that realm is refreshing and different.  The plot lines around deportation and family loyalty were such a lovely dynamic.  Granted, I haven't read a wide selection of other romance novels recently, so they may all revolve around similar themes nowadays.  Maybe I need to read other romance books to truly compare.  Perhaps that will be a future review for a different month!

You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero

I started out my book review blog with "You are a Badass" by Jen Sincero, and here I am 6 months later reading another book of hers.  I may not be covering the most broad spectrum of books, but I'm telling you, there is something about these books that lights a fire under my ass.  I'm hoping they will for you too.

While reading the first book, she briefly talks about money struggles and fear surrounding money.  While reading over those sections I realized how much baggage I carry in that department.  I am not afraid to say that I am a frugal person.  I hate to spend money if I don't have to; I cringe while buying necessary items; and I cause myself a ridiculous amount of stress over silly pieces of green paper.  I don't think I am suffering in the money department (thank goodness), but I am one of those people who just wishes I had some more wiggle room every once in awhile.  My mom and I both have these irrational money woes, and we discuss them often with each other.  We were walking through Target grumbling about money - the same Target where the first book popped out at me - and we happen to see this brand new book from Jen Sincero that is ENTIRELY about creating your own solutions when it comes to money worries.  Clearly, we both saw it as a sign, and we both picked up our own copies.  I flew through my copy in a few days.

It feels like the author's intentions are to allow you to dream about your future.  After you dreamed up the most fantastical, wonderful story about your picture-perfect life, she starts to lay out steps on how you can actually move towards that goal.  Then she covers all of the internal mind games you start to say to yourself.  Like why you don't deserve to follow your dreams and be successful at them because your boring, stable, ho-hum job gets you through the day.  It's amazing how you subconsciously (and sometimes consciously too) tell yourself that you don't deserve to be wealthy.  Why shouldn't you be rich?

Most of her thought process seems to follow the Law of Attraction.  If you believe that you can create money making opportunities for yourself, then you will have the willpower to make it happen.  I'm personally a believer in the Law of Attraction.  If I strive to have a positive outlook every day, then I will be more likely to see positive things around me.  If I'm you're negative and hopeless all day, then you look like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh with a sad, little rain cloud over your head.  Jen Sincero expands the options for the Laws of Attraction into the realm of money and tries to take some of the taboo out of it.  

I started putting Jen's ideas to practice after finishing the book.  In an interesting twist to this review, I actually had a remarkable opportunity come my way that affirmed her process.  I found out that I was getting a parking spot through my work, and I would be saving $120 per month.  HUGE!  I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've caught myself saying, "If I just had an extra hundred or two hundred every month..."  And like a sign from heaven I receive the parking pass.  Dream big!  Who knows what joys will come my way if I continue believing I'm a badass at making money.

Life of Pi by Yann Martel

I struggled to find a book for May.  As you can see, I'm cutting it a little close to the end of the month.  I picked up a lot of books, read a few chapters, and couldn't find an interest in anything.  A friend of mine actually gifted me this book about a year ago, and it has been sitting on my bookshelf patiently waiting.  I picked it up and thought to myself, "What could possibly be so interesting about being stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean for days with a tiger..."  It was obvious that he would survive -- I mean what a weird book it would be if he wrote it and then died at the end -- so what grand adventure would take 300 pages?  Knowing my deadline was close, and that it was a successful movie, I figured it had enough plot to keep me occupied.

Part One of the book introduces you to Piscine Molitor Patel.  Piscine grows up in Pondicherry, a city in India, and his parents own a zoo.  Piscine is teased for his name during his school years, so he takes on the nickname of "Pi."  We learn history about his family's zoo, animal psychology, and read anecdotes of specific animals.  We also learn about his journey for spirituality.  Pi is raised with Hinduism (although his family is more indifferent to religion), but he decides to further include the faith practices of Christianity and Islam.  His family and pastors don't fully understand his pious desires, but it is hard to punish a child who is spending their afternoons praying instead of getting into trouble.  At the close of Part One, we learn that Pi's family is selling the zoo and moving to Canada.

Part Two takes place almost entirely on the Pacific Ocean.  It starts on the Tsimtsum, which is the boat taking his family to Canada, until the boat inexplicably fails and sinks.  Pi finds himself on a lifeboat with an injured zebra, an orangutan, and a hyena.  As the three animals begin to fight for dominance, he realizes that a tiger from their zoo is also on board the lifeboat.  The tiger's name is Richard Parker.  Eventually, Pi and Richard Parker are alone on the lifeboat together.  Pi spends the rest of Part Two talking about his struggles for survival.  Trying to find fresh water, trying to find food for himself and Richard Parker, and surviving his living arrangements with a full-grown tiger.  Pi attempts to use his zoo experience and background to assert himself as the alpha animal presence.

I won't ruin Part Three for you, but obviously we find out the resolution of the story here.  There is a pretty big twist at the end of the book.  I had to go back and re-read the "reveal" a few times to fully comprehend what I was seeing.  It took me a day or two to really determine if I liked the ending or not.  But I think it is a really beautiful resolution to the story.

This review covers a lot of the surface material in the book.  However, the power of the book itself is the subtle journey it takes you on.  Not only are you reading Pi's narrative, but in the back of your mind you begin to wonder how you would have coped with his trials and suffering.  He makes the 277 days at sea seem almost peaceful, if that is even possible.  The compassion and respect Pi and Richard Parker have for one another is truly remarkable as it becomes imperative to their survival to tame one another.  The Life of Pi will make you question your own resolve, consider the strength of your spirituality, and it will make you grateful for the comforts you have around you in every day life.

Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan

If you've ever watched the TV show "House" before, then you'll have an idea of what this book will be like. We meet a young, thriving Susannah at the age of 24.  Susannah starts experiencing some mild medical issues when she thinks she has a case of bed bugs in her apartment.  Her health quickly declines with terrifying problems.  What starts as flu like symptoms turns into seizures, paranoia, and even hallucinations.

Doctors run a multitude of tests on her.  They all come back with clean results and no diagnosis.  With no concrete evidence to go off of, the initial guesses from doctors range from bipolar disorder to mono.  One clueless doctor even tells her that she must be suffering from alcohol withdrawal and just needs to lay off her partying weekends.  Her seizures continue to progress with no signs of stopping, so she is checked into NYU's epilepsy ward.

Susannah's boyfriend, Stephen, is ever-present during her entire hospital stay.  Remarkably, they had only been dating for 6 months prior to her hospitalization.  Susannah's estranged parents are also very involved.  Since they still had issues with one another, they communicated all of the day's medical updates through a journal to one another.  Susannah also introduces the reader to nurses and doctors who are assigned to her case.

Before Susannah's disaster, she was a a journalist with the New York Post.  Putting her journalistic skills to use, she recreates her "month of madness" because she couldn't remember all of it herself.  She interviewed, researched, and pieced together information from her family, boyfriend, hospital staff, doctors, etc and was able to amazingly cover all of the time that she couldn't remember.  She was able to weave it together seamlessly.  The amount of effort she put into reconstructing her narrative is what impressed me the most.  She is able to give you enough insight to the medical information so you can understand the whole picture without getting lost in the jargon.

I don't want to give any spoilers to this book by explaining her final diagnosis.  You'll have to read it to find out yourself!  It is really difficult to write much more without giving too much information away!

The book is just under 300 pages, and it took me 3 sittings to finish the book.  I didn't even notice the time that flew by when I would sit down and read it.  After reading "Atlas Shrugged," I wanted a book that was really gripping and easy to read.  The internet helped me on my quest to find something exciting.  I found this book on quite a few different "must read" lists online.  It currently has a 3.99 out of 5 star rating on the website Goodreads.  Susannah posted on her Instagram (linked here) that they were planning on making a movie out of the book with Chloe Grace Moretz to star in the film.  I can imagine that this would make a great movie.  I would highly recommend this book if medical mysteries interest you!  Happy reading everyone!

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

This book will peak your interest if you like one of the following: anything to do with trains, the difficulties of running your own business, strong female main characters, political unrest to due an overly strict government, or you just like suffering through 1,000+ page books for no apparent reason.  About 2/3rds of the way through the book, I realized that no one was actually going to read this book based on my review, and I almost gave up on it.  I think I finished it just to say I did it and less out of enjoyment for the book itself.  As a matter of fact, I struggled through a lot of this book.  I told my mom that the author must have suffered from writer's flood versus writer's block.  You could have cut out 600 pages of the book and it still would have made sense.  I'll still give you a brief overview of the story just in case in interests some poor soul out there who wants to read it.

Dagny Taggart, is the Vice President of Taggart Transcontinental.  This is a family run railroad business.  Taggart Transcontinental starts to have difficulty as more and more regulations are being implemented by the government.  The political figures make these regulations with intentions to hurt successful companies while saying they are trying to level the playing field for all businesses.  In an effort to save her railway, Dagny works with Hank Reardon, of Reardon Metals, to create a new, cost effective railroad with a new metal alloy Reardon created.  As Dagny and Hank continue to work together, the government starts to crumble the entire industrial backbone of the country.  Many of Dagny's supporters and friends, who are also business owners, are disappearing into thin air to save themselves.  Dagny is on a mission to find out why her friends are disappearing, as she knows she will most likely be approached at some point about whatever it is that makes them leave.  Will she be able to save Taggart Transcontinental?

It is a very well written book.  Just too long winded for the every day causal reader.  I had to put post-it tabs in my book to make sure I was staying on task and meeting my quotas for the week.  In Section Three of the book, the author changes course entirely - it is where you learn about all of Dagny's disappearing friends - it suddenly becomes exciting again, but I felt like the excitement was short lived.  And I thought the resolution to the book was so-so.

In closing, if you are a die-hard lover of books, and you are looking for a ridiculous challenge... try reading the Game of Thrones book series!  Just kidding.  But really...  You may love "Atlas Shrugged", you may hate it, you may fizzle in and out of it like I did, but at least you can appreciate the time and effort Ayn Rand took to write this monster of a novel.

I have to address something quickly before diving into the review.  A lovely coworker of mine featured my blog in the 12th floor newsletter!  So thank you to any new readers who may have started following along.  She mentioned that my next post may be a how-to knitting book, so I'm sorry if anyone was looking forward to that.  In reality, I know the majority of my "audience" is probably random 20-some year old friends of mine who notice my link on Facebook, so I'm thinking you all aren't too devastated that I strayed from a knitting book.  Hope you enjoy this lovely book below....

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

After reading this book, I thought this review would be really easy for me to write.  The writing style and the philosophy behind the book pull at your heartstrings enough to make you want to talk about how amazing the book is.  But this review in particular has taken me a few weeks to actually sit down and write.

The author, Paul, is coming to the fruition of his education as a neurosurgeon.  Countless hours have been spent working towards his goal of being a doctor.  When he finally sees the end in sight, he is diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer.  Paul Kalanithi passed away March 2015 while working on this book.  It was published posthumously January 2016.  Reading this short summary while standing in Barnes and Nobles was enough to peak my interest, but I had no idea how deeply Paul's writing would connect with me on a personal level.

Paul opens the book discussing his diagnosis with cancer.  I was pretty surprised he decided to start the book with that.  Especially since there was a lot of the book left to read, and I know from personal experience that cancer does not give you that much time.  I was a little afraid he would discuss the ugly side of cancer too much.  The sick, the death, the pain.  Luckily he did not take that turn.  He delves back into his past to talk about his early education in English, life with his wife, and changing his path to medicine.  He takes you through the struggle of medical school and the grueling hours.  Paul talks about his constant struggle with wanting to treat people as people instead of a diagnosis on a piece of paper.  And then the tables are flipped on him when he is diagnosed.  He suddenly becomes the patient and the statistic.  He goes from working full time, 100 miles per hour, and in control of his life, to an abrupt halt.  His doctor urges him to go after his passion because there is no guarantee in a successful recovery.  He has to decide if that is continuing in the medical field or following his first passion and writing a book.  Obviously, we are reading the product of his choice.

This book is about looking mortality in the face and doing so with a thirst for knowledge.  The beauty of the book is that you get to view it from the perspective of both the doctor and the patient.  It is hard to give this book the justice it deserves.  For that reason, I am going to finish the review by quoting a paragraph from the epilogue written by his wife, Lucy.  

This book carries the urgency of racing against time, of having importing things to say.  Paul confronted death -- examined it, wrestled with it, accepted it -- as a physician and a patient.  He wanted to help people understand death and face their mortality.  Dying in one's fourth decade is unusual now, but dying is not.  "The thing about lung cancer is that it's not exotic," Paul wrote in an email to his best friend, Robin.  "It's just tragic enough and just imaginable enough.  [The reader] can get into these shoes, walk a bit, and say, 'So that's what it looks like from here ... sooner or later I'll be back here in my own shoes.' That's what I'm aiming for, I think.  Not the sensationalism of dying, and not the exhortation to gather rosebuds, but: Here's what lies up ahead on the road."  Of course he did more than just describe the terrain.  He traversed it bravely.

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

The Girl on the Train is a psychological thriller.  The book hops back and forth between three perspectives-- the alcoholic and lonely Rachel; the over-protective mother and jealous wife Anna; and the beautiful and repetitively unfaithful Megan.

Rachel is truly the main character.  She is a middle aged woman who is struggling.  She is an alcoholic who suffers regular black outs.  You also learn about her ex-husband, Tom, who cheated on her.  Rachel regularly rides the train in and out of London to hide her unemployment from her roommate.  During her train ride, Rachel points out two houses to the reader.  One of the houses she passes is her old house.  Her ex-husband and his new wife, Anna, now live there.  Rachel tries to avoid looking at Tom and Anna's house.  Instead, she focuses her attention down the street to a different house.  We later come to realize that Megan and her husband Scott live in this second house.  Rachel fantasizes about Megan's picture-perfect life, and she envies the blissful marriage she creates for them.  During one train ride, Rachel glances at Megan's house to see her kissing someone other than her husband.  Rachel is shocked.  Although she has never actually met Megan, Rachel cannot fathom her cheating on her husband.  Rachel drinks heavily that night.  The following morning, Rachel wakes up with little to no memory of the previous night, but finds herself covered in bruises and blood on her hands.  She later hears on the news that Megan has gone missing.  Rachel feels drawn to the case, and she is convinced that what she witnessed is pertinent information.  She becomes involved with the police, contacts Megan's husband, and slowly starts to piece together her black-out from the night Megan went missing.

This book blew up pretty quickly.  The movie adaptation came out October 2016.  I always recommend reading the book before watching the movie if possible.  I heard it was similar to Gone Girl.  I hated Gone Girl (the book), so I was a little nervous to pick this up.  Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised.  For the most part, I thought it was a pretty easy read.  You get caught up in the drama of the characters and next thing you know an hour has passed.  Just when you think you know the main suspect, they introduce new evidence or a twist to make you change your mind.  It can get a little confusing bouncing between different character's past and present story lines, but you can still follow without it needing to be extremely specific.  My only other complaint is the glorification of cheating on your spouse throughout the book.  Unfaithful relationships become crucial to the plot line.  I can't really say much more without ruining the story, but it was a little disappointing to continually see cheating as a core theme of the book.

I was up until 1:30am trying to fly through the last hundred pages of the book.  There was no way to go to sleep without knowing the resolution when you can see the end in sight!  Afterwards, I had to turn the TV on and make sure the front door was locked.  I have to admit, I'm very easily spooked, and reading thrillers at night probably isn't the best for me.  Even now I'm peeking over my computer screen to make sure no one is coming up the stairs with a butcher knife waiting for their moment to strike.  As much as I love the suspense and page turning that thrillers provide, my heart just can't handle it.  Maybe I can convince Derrick to watch the movie with me this weekend mid-day with the lights on and sun shining.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

I think your opinion of this book is greatly determined by the age at which you read it.  If you are an angsty, hate-the-world teenager, then you will probably love this book.  If you do not happen to currently fall into that age bracket or have similar feelings of that age bracket, then I'm not sure if you will enjoy the book as much.  I'll start off this review by saying that I do not fall into the grumpy, whiny, teen category.  I was pretty disappointment with the mindset and outlook of the main character throughout the plot of the book.  Let me explain...

The main character, Holden Caulfield, is a teenager who attends a famous school named Pencey Prep in Pennsylvania.  You quickly come to find that Holden is being kicked out of Pencey for failing the majority of his classes and not applying himself.  This is not the first school he has been kicked out of.  His attitude and humor are dark, twisted, and deprecating.  To be completely honest, he sounds like a whiny brat to me.  Throughout his incessant whining, you learn some history about Holden's life, and it gives you some insight on why he behaves the way he does.  

For one, he is not the smoothest with the ladies.  He talks about sex and wanting to lose his virginity throughout the book; however, he realizes that he wants more than just casual sex, and he never follows through with any attempts he initiates.  He also has an affinity for saying the word "phony" as an adjective to describe anything or anyone he encounters.  Anytime someone disagrees with him or is being (in his mind) inauthentic, he sees them as a phony person.  In reality, he is just too close-minded to realize that he may be wrong about an idea or opinion he has.  A great example of that would be schooling.  He has been kicked out of a few schools at this point.  He is about it be kicked out of another, yet anyone who tries to talk to him about schooling is usually called a phony at some point in the conversation.  On a more serious note, you find out that Holden's younger brother, Allie, passed away from leukemia about three years before the book takes place.  With all of the drama and sullenness, you can't help but feel compassionate for Holden when you find out about his brother.  It doesn't forgive all of his bad behavior, but it certainly helps to explain it.

In short, The Cather in the Rye covers a lot of themes linked to the fear of growing up.  Holden so desperately wants to stay young, innocent, and care-free, but realizes that he can't.  He isn't ready to fully come to terms with the responsibility of adulthood just yet, but he knows that the time is coming.  He is stuck between childhood and adulthood.  At the end of the book, Holden is reconnected with his little sister Phoebe.  Time with Phoebe brings back some of the sweetness in his life, and you see his attitude shift for the better.  This is the only time we truly see a happy, content Holden.

I wasn't a huge fan of the book.  To be honest, I'm not always impressed with the "classics" when it comes to books.  I appreciate the fact that the author could be so candid and honest in Holden's perspective, but it was just a little too honest for me.  I can't imagine living my life being so incredibly critical of everyone and everything.  How miserable would that be!  Needless to say, I'm grateful to check this one off of my to-read list, and it is on to the next one!